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I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
- Mark Twain
The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring there.
-Robert M. Pirsig
Most often, the person you would die for would settle for dinner and a movie.
The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.
-Edward R Morrow
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children;
now I have six children and no theories.
You can bear your troubles or shrug them off. They're your shoulders.
- Robert Brault
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. -
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
The only fish that swim with the current are the dead ones.
- Plague in the Alnwick Castle Gardens
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.
You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
- Steven Wright
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
If the lessons of history teach us anything
it is that nobody learns the lessons history teaches us.
Eggs cannot be unscrambled.
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had.
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices …… take it or leave it
- Buddy Hackett
— Birth of Porcupine Quillting
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